My Little Pretender

Kiara has the greatest imagination. Whenever she is home, she is constantly involving herself in these great make-believe situations. Her most repeated scenario is where she is the teacher of a classroom. She will sit down on the floor and read a book to her "students." She will take pauses to ask questions to her students and even reprimand those students who are misbehaving. There are 2 names that she is constantly using: Becca and Angel. Since I always hear about Angel and how he behaves, I asked Kiara's preschool teacher to point out Angel one day. The teacher looked at me like I was crazy and said we don't have an Angel in our classroom. How was I to know that Angel didn't exist and was only in her mind?! She also likes to play "Honey" which is when she is the mother and I am the baby. She calls me "honey" a lot during that.

Not only does Kiara love to teach but she also loves to dance. Whenever there is music playing, Kiara will be dancing. Sometimes it seems she is doing some kind of interruptive dance. She has this one move where she puts her head down, then flips it up and moves her hands at the same time. Brian and I would like to put her in dance class, but I know dance class can be very expensive and time consuming. We don't mind spending time and money but at 3 years old, I don't know if it is necessary. I think my Kiara has great opportunities ahead of her. It is almost overwhelming to think of the possibilities that she has. My hope is that she will always live in her imagination and know no limits.

My Old Body

I will be the 1st to admit that my body has changed a lot since the birth of my beloved Kiara. I gained almost 50 pounds during my pregnancy with her. I can't totally blame my 9 lb 11 oz bouncing baby girl for all that weight I gained. My husband seems to recall my love for French Silk pie at the end of the pregnancy and swears I ate pie at least once a week for a couple of months. Amazingly I lost all that weight by my 6 week check up. My body wasn't the same shape, but the bulk was gone. Unfortunately, I gained about 30 pounds back in the 2 + years between Kiara and getting pregnant with Lenin. Some of you won't believe this, but before I got pregnant with Lenin I weighed 211 pounds. I know I'm tall and have a large build, but no woman wants to weigh over 200 pounds.

I hated my body after I gained that weight. I felt uncomfortable, ugly, fat, overall unattractive. For most of my life I've judged myself in how I appeared to others and appearing "fat" didn't sit well with my self esteem. I became depressed during this time and felt my good-looking days of youth were gone. During my pregnancy with Lenin I tried to eat better and started walking and it really helped. I gained about 27 pounds in that pregnancy but I felt good. I've now lost a little over 30 pounds, mostly from breastfeeding. I'm a couple pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight and I'm feeling so good. My body actually looks better than before I got pregnant with Lenin minus the stretch marks and with the addition of breastfeeding boobs.

I know I shouldn't judge myself on how I look on the outside, but who can honestly say that your weight doesn't matter. I was used to getting attention for being skinny and it's hard to get ignored for being chubby. Before I got pregnant, my biggest fear was becoming a frazzled, overweight mom and I was becoming just that. I don't want to fall back on bad habits. Brian and I have been adding more fresh fruits and vegetables to our meals and I'm trying to cut out my love for pop. At my house, I'm known for always having a large glass of water to drink but sometimes I want a nice, cold, caffeinated and carbonated beverage to drink. I love Dr. Pepper, Cherry Coke, and Wild Cherry Pepsi. I know however these items are empty sugar calories and no good for a mom who wants to keep her figure. I also know I tend to be an emotional eater and feel fast food will make me happy when I am stressed and with 4 kids that's about all the time! So wish me luck in my endeavor to get back my post-wedding, pre-pregnancy body. I don't want to stop eating or became a Posh Spice look-a-like, I just want a glimpse of my old body back.

P.S. Enjoy my picture from college.

Ladies Man

It's been interesting raising an almost teenage boy. I met Montre when he was 5 years old and in my kindergarten class. He has such a sensitive soul and tries hard to please everyone. Even at 12 he is wise beyond his years and you can talk to him about pretty much anything. He is also turning into quite a handsome young man. Over the years I tried to show him how to dress and match clothes. Nothing serious, we are on a Target budget, but at least I showed him what colors go together. This year he has really been into what clothes he wears and has developed a great sense of style. I think he has worn a polo shirt almost everyday since school started. He is also talking to the girls at his school more.

On the 2nd day of school I picked up Evelina and was looking for Montre. The girls and I walk over to where the junior high kids get dismissed and there was Montre talking to 3 girls. I tried not to embarass him in front of the ladies, but told him it was time to go home. Later that day he tells me that the girls at school are paying more attention to him this year. I told him that he is a kind, intelligent and handsome boy and the girls are smart to want to talk to him. On another day when I was dropping the kids off at school, I saw the way the girls looked at Montre when he walked up to him. Last year he attended almost all of the school dances and was excited to tell Brian and I how many girls he danced with. It's crazy to think that he'll be in high school in 2 years and in college in 6. It'll be hard when he has a girlfriend, especially with two nosy younger sisters constantly watching over him. I am curious as to how the next few years will pan out!

Update: Nighttime Potty Training

Kiara must have read that I was going to put her in Pull-ups until she is 10 because she has been doing awesome on the nighttime potty training! We decided to stop the nighttime wake ups and just make sure she goes to the bathroom right before bed. Out of the last 16 nights she has only had 2 nights when she had an accident. Those 2 nights were special occasion nights where we were at parties till late and she was drinking juice all night. On the way home, she would fall asleep in the car and put up a fuss about going potty when we got there. We are very happy and relieved!

Nighttime Potty Training

Kiara has been having a hard time getting the whole nighttime potty training down. She rarely has accidents during the day and during nap times, but at night it's a whole different story. We have tried limiting fluids before bed, we've had her go to the bathroom before bed, and we have a chart where she gets stickers for going to the bathroom before bed. There are some nights she stays dry but there is no pattern to it. Brian and I have been so frustrated trying to figure out what to do. To make matters worse, Kiara sleeps on the top bunk and anyone with bunk beds knows what a pain it is to make the top bunk. Brian and I hate washing her sheets and making the bed. We didn't have this problem with Evelina. I think she was fully potty trained by 2.5 years old.

After talking about it at work, one of Brian's coworkers suggested we wake Kiara up in the middle of the night to see if she will pee. The first 2 nights, Brian woke her up about 3 a.m. Kiara cried the whole time and tried to go to the bathroom, but said, "It won't come out!". To our amazement, though, she was dry in the morning. Since then the results haven't been so positive. She still cries heavily when woken up and refuses to sit on the toilet. A couple nights ago, Brian's patience had been growing thin, so after Kiara threw a fit and refused to sit on the toilet, he left her in the bathroom to cry it out. Being 8 months pregnant and having the bladder of a mouse, I had to use the bathroom a little later. As I walked to the bathroom, I saw my little girl had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor. Her undies were still down from when she tried to go to the bathroom earlier. I quietly called her name and she put her head up and looked around like she didn't know where she was. I asked her if she wanted to go potty and she said yes. She sat on the potty, did her business, and then I called Brian to put her back to bed. The next morning when she woke, she was still wet. The jury is still out on the "Wake-the-child-in-the-middle-of-the-night-potty-training-technique." It's pretty tortuous to hear your little girl crying in the middle of the night after being woken up to use the bathroom. I hope it gets better soon or I might resort to using pull-ups until she's 10.

Pregnancy Television

I think I am watching too many television shows about having a baby. If I'm home alone (meaning no husband) then I will watch anything from Bringing Home Baby on TLC, 16 and Pregnant on MTV, to Special Delivery on Discovery Channel. Kiara doesn't mind watching these shows either, but I might have overdone it with her. I was in the bathtub with Kiara and she pushes my leg up and says it's time to have a baby. Then the other day when my 3 year old niece was over, Kiara tried to push on her stomach and then told me that the baby was coming. What have I done to this poor little girl?! I just can't help myself, it's like I can't get enough about pregnancy, labor, and newborns.

Worst Mother Ever

This morning the girls woke up about 8:00, which gave us approximately 45 minutes to get dressed, brush teeth, do hair, eat breakfast, pack lunches, put on sunscreen and leave for swim camp. If we got ready on time then we would walk to the park and if we were running late we would have to take the car. Things are going well until Kiara decides that she must watch Caillou this morning. I tell her fine, she can watch 1 episode of Caillou and I finish packing lunches. Caillou ends and naturally Kiara wants another one. I tell her that if we watch another Caillou then we can't walk to the park and we'll have to drive. She agrees and another Caillou is on the TV. I finish getting myself ready (which really means I put on any clothing that covers my ever growing legs and belly, brush my teeth, run my fingers through my hair, and put on sunglasses).

Everyone is now ready and packed and I happen to glance at the clock to see we have 7 minutes till camp starts. I go into the living room and tell the girls we must leave now. Evelina heads to the door, Kiara turns off the TV and then goes to her room and cries that she wants to finish watching Caillou and walk to the park. I tell her we must leave now by car and she refuses. Evelina is already outside at this point getting into the car, so I tell Kiara, "Let's go right now!" She refuses so I decide to pretend to leave without her. I grab my purse, car keys, tell her I'm leaving, and shut the back door. I hear Kiara running towards the back door and screaming, "Mommy, Mommy!" and I instantly feel bad so I try to open the door. The door is locked from the outside and I cannot open the door. I calmly tell Kiara to open the door and she locks the deadbolt instead. Kiara is hysterical now and I start freaking. I search through my purse for the house keys and cannot find them. I run to the front door hoping it was accidentally left unlock and am disappointed. Now I am really freaking out and I decide to call Brian. Then I realize I left my phone in my bedroom. I am in full fledge panic mood now and wondering how I'm going to tell the neighbor that I need to use his phone to get a locksmith to open our house because I was trying to teach my daughter a lesson by pretending to leave without her. My heart is racing and I hear Kiara from inside the house screaming, "Mommy come back, Mommy come back!". I am in tears now and go back to the door and try to persuade Kiara to unlock the door by herself. Kiara is too busy crying and is of no use. I happen to search my pants and find the house keys in my pockets (I must have put them in there without thinking). I unlock the door and give Kiara the biggest hug ever. She is quick to forgive me and gets into the car with no problem. We get to camp about 10 minutes late, I sign in the girls with their teachers, give kisses, and leave. As I walk back to my car by myself I feel like the worst mother ever. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

Kiara and Her Baby Brother

As my pregnancy winds down (I'm officially in the 3rd trimester!), I am starting to get more anxious about the effect the new baby will have on Kiara. Kiara has two sides: she is the baby of the family when Montre and Evelina are here and she is the only child when they are gone. When it is just Kiara, Brian and I sit and enjoy her cute moments (and not-so-cute moments). How she loves to sing silly songs out of the nowhere. How she dances in the living room. How she loves to be naked and thinks saying Poopie and Pee-pee are the funniest things ever. How when she wants something she says, "Just 1" like, "I want to watch just 1 Caillou" or "I want just 1 ice cream". I love Kiara so much and whether it is pregnancy hormones or a good case of cheesiness I am so sad she is growing up. I've been trying to hold on to her this summer and cherish every moment I have alone with her. The other day she fell asleep in my arms before bedtime. Kiara hasn't done that in a long time and so I think she senses things are about to change too. I'm just afraid that once Lenin is born she'll get put on the back burner and feel left out. I know it'll only be temporary, during those chaotic newborn months, but I feel like she has no idea how her life is about to change.

Of course, Kiara is so excited about having a baby brother. We talk about what a great big sister she is going to be and how baby Lenin can't wait to meet her. She tells me how she is going to get diapers for me, get Lenin's pacifier, and hold him in her lap. The other day she says to me, "I want to play with Baby Lenin" and she then sits on my lap facing my belly and begins to play "Patty-Cake" with my belly. No lie, she softly did the motions of "Patty Cake" on my belly and then ended play time by tickling my belly button. Yesterday Kiara comes and kisses and hugs my belly then says, "I love him!" I was confused and asked her who she loves and she said, "Baby Lenin!" Maybe Kiara will adjust to the new baby with no problems but I still feel guilty that I am the one responsible for changing her status in life.

My Little Helpers

My kids love to help me around the house. The girls especially love to act like mini moms. This morning both girls wanted to wake up Montre. Evelina and Montre can aggravate each other at times so I sent in Kiara. From down the hall I heard her say, "Moooontreeeee, wake up sleepy head! Sleepy head wake up!" It was so darn adorable, but I'm sure Montre wasn't so pleased. The girls also love to help me clean, well, try anyway. I bought a small dust buster that can be extended into a small vacuum for my classroom. When I brought my school stuff home for the summer, the girls found the vacuum and were so excited. They thought this vacuum was made just for them. They actually fight over who gets to use it first. Unfortunately, their vacuuming skills combined with the less than satisfactory sucking power make their vacuuming a step above the effectiveness of that little corn popper push toy that toddlers love to use. I still have to go over their work with the regular vacuum.

Montre is also a great help around the house and is becoming quite dependable. Of course, I have to be very specific on what I want him to do. If I give him general directions, I usually end up frustrated. As a mom of a pre-adolescent I've learned to give detailed and clear directions and also to pick my battles. One example is when I asked him to clean out his backpack from the end of the school year. He had already used the backpack to carry his swim items to the pool and I guess he didn't mind having his markers and scissors next to his sunscreen and pool pass. I, however, thought this was not a good idea and asked him to clean it out. Another time I asked him to clean his desk and he did so by throwing everything into a drawer. Later when I checked his work, I tried to show him how to organize better. I really appreciate all that Montre does. Every year when he goes away to YMCA camp for a couple of weeks, I realize how much he helps me and I usually send him an email at camp thanking him for being such a great son and big brother.

Sisters

I never had a sister growing up so I'm constantly trying to figure out the dynamics of the sisterhood between Kiara and Evelina. Sometimes they fight, but most of the time the two of them get along pretty well. Kiara adores Evelina. Kiara wants to do everything that Evelina does and repeats most of the phrases that Evelina uses on a regular basis. Evelina loves to answer questions with a jestful "never". So now you will hear the littlest Caref girl saying "eva" in her best imitation of her sister's never. Evelina dislikes being at the receving end of such adoration. She often complains about Kiara copying her and why can't she do something without Kiara trying to do the same. But despite their disagreements, the girls really do love each other. When Evelina gets back from being at her Mom's house for a long period of time, Kiara will run up to her with this huge smile and give a big hug. It is the cutest thing to see. There are so many precious memories I have of the girls, but these are my favorite. I remember Kiara's 1st Cubs game and Evelina holding her so tight at Wrigley Field. I can recall the 1st time the girls ever took a bath together. I remember when we were in South Haven and Kiara gave Evelina the biggest kiss after a bath. I also remember the day I discovered Evelina in her rocking chair reading to her classroom of stuffed animals and Kiara. Today, I saw Evelina showing Kiara how to stand by the tee and swing and at the next turn Kiara hit the ball. I hope their sisterly love continues to grow, even in the teenage years!

Time

I love little kids concept of time and their thought process getting there. Kiara asked me this morning, "Am I going to swim camp?"

I said, "No, it's the weekend."

She replied, "Oh, that's right".

Then she said, "Tuesday?"

I clarified, "Monday."

I especially love the "oh, that's right" comment. I'm not sure where she got that from but it's cute.

Evelina had the same concern about summer camp this morning. I also explained to her that it was Saturday and she said, "I thought there are 7 days in a week?!"

I said, "Yes, 5 week days and 2 weekend days. 5 +2=7"

Evelina then said, "No, that's not 7!"

I said, "Yes Evelina, 5 (showing her 5 fingers) plus 2 (adding 2 fingers) equals 7."

She then said, "But I thought I am at your house for 7 days and my mom's house for 7 days."

I then went on to explain that during the school year, she is with us 5 days and her mom 2 days, but during the summer it is different. This week she was with her mom 5 days in a row. I guess that was a good explanation because the conversation promptly ended after that!

I wonder what conversation I might have with Montre...

Summer Loving

I've been on summer vacation now for almost 2 weeks and it really has been a joy to spend time with my kids. During the school year, when things are so hectic, it is hard for me to stop and enjoy the kids for who they are. I mean sometimes when I'm teaching, honestly, the kids are the barrier to me and relaxing. When we get home at the end of the day, the kids are tired from school and I'm tired, and I'm trying to forge ahead to bed time when I know I'll get some guilt free time to myself. Now though, I can relax and see the kids shine. Kiara and I have been spending a lot of time together and I realize what a great age she is at and what an awesome little girl she is. She is so lovable and trusting. The other day when she woke up, I put her in bed with me and I gave her a big kiss and told her I loved her. She looked at me and said, "I love you so much!" and kissed and hugged me. Every night when Brian puts Kiara to bed, right before he closes the door, Kiara tells him, "I love you Daddy!"

Kiara is also a very precocious child. After coming home from swim camp one day Kiara noticed I had left the TV on. She said, "Mommy, you left the TV on!" I told her that I forgot to turn it off before I left. A couple days later I purposely left the TV on to ensure that a show got recorded. Kiara came home and said, "You left the TV on again? Uuhhh." I felt like she was the mother and I the child. I hope that I can take more time next school year to enjoy the kids and their moments. I don't want to be so stressed that I get frustrated and forget to seize the moments that will be fleeting memories in a few years.

In my life I love you more

Life is short; take a lot of pictures!

I've decided this is my new mantra in life. If you know me at all, you know I love to take pictures. I've realized that time goes by so fast and I want to remember everything. When I was about 4 or 5 years old I was upset to find out that I didn't have a baby photo album. I then took it upon myself to make one. It wasn't the greatest creation ever, but I can say that my love for capturing life through pictures was started in that moment.

This blog is another way for me to remember my life. I received a baby book for Kiara before she was born. I started filling it out when I was pregnant with her and promised myself I would keep up with it. It's now 3 years later and only the information in the book is from when I was pregnant. I want this blog to be my family's "baby book" and will use it to record all the silly, crazy, sad, glorious moments that happen while raising 4 children. My children will grow up in the blink of an eye and I want to remember the moments.

Enjoy!

Melissa